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avatar Famous_End_474 10 day.ago

What is the most realistic retirement plan for younger generations

Euthanasia

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Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Nothing worse than, after sex, looking down and seeing that limp used condom hanging off your d***...

Particularly when you weren't wearing one when you started.

2. If Cupid is busy is he...

preocCupid?

3. I almost got ripped off buy a British scrap yard!

I brought 200 lb ,$133 of scrap and after he put it on the scale he said it looks like you have 100 pounds here 🙄

4. A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, "Bless me, father, for I have sinned I was with seven different women last night."

The priest is silent for a moment, and then says "Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp. "And I'll be forgiven?" asks the man. "No," replies the priest, "but it will wipe that fucking smirk off your face!"

5. Only two years ago, my wife's gynecologist delievered pizza.

Still to this day they both think, it's a terrible name...

6. A tourist visits Israel.

First of all, of course, he wants to visit the holy places. He stops a taxi, sits inside, and realizes he forgot how to say "The Western Wall" in Hebrew. He thinks for a moment: "Driver.. take me to the place... where you Jews are all crying." The driver took him to the Tax Authority HQ.

7. A nurse at a field ambulance in WWI came to the bed of a wounded Australian soldier.

She took him by the hand, looked him in the eye and passionately told him, "You did not come here to die!". He replied "Nah mate, I just got here yesterdie".

8. I just had a terrible breakup with my girlfriend, the geochronologist

I told her to go date rocks

9. What do you call a Viking who lost his boat?

A Hiking.

10. What do you call someone who’s really in to 18th-Century Japanese history?

An Edo-phile.

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